When your child becomes a friend

When my first child was born over 25 years ago and I held him in my hands, I did not realize that the feelings for him could intensify. I have 3 children now and over the years my love and respect for them has grown. As an infant their Dad and I were their entire world. As they grew other people became important to them, but I was still their mom. Now that they have grown and my oldest two, Jeff and Mackenzie have graduated from college and have started their own independent life, our roles have changed.

Jeff will always be my son. He informs me of happenings in his life, shares the exciting times and other times as well. He asks for advice sometimes still and help if he needs it. He is concerned about my welfare, my health. He always remembers birthdays and special events. He is a great young man, very thoughtful and kind. He is my son, a wonderful caring man, I could ask for nothing better. Jeff will always be the one to take care of things. Mackenzie is now in Denver and Jeff is truly taking care of her. She is living with him and he is trying to make the best situation for her. He is being great big brother. He is an unbelievable young man. I am so proud of the man he is, the brother he is, the person he is.

Mackenzie, my daughter and now a friend. Oh she will always be my daughter, she asks for advice and needs the attagirl from her mom, but now we talk more as friends. Oh I would never tell her some things that I tell my close friends who are my age, because she is my daughter. And I would never call her my best friend, because she is my daughter. I only have one daughter, but I could have many best friends. But now Mackenzie and I talk on the phone and laugh and tell each other stories and we enjoy ourselves. My child has become my friend now and it's beautiful.

When my mother died, 3 1/2 years ago, well almost 4 years ago, I lost a friend. No I wouldn't say my best friend, because again there were some things I wouldn't tell her because she was my mom, but a good friend, I lost my mom. Mom was someone I could tell almost anything to. I could tell her the funny stories from work, the heart wrenching stories also. I could share the wonderful, sad, any situation in my life and she would listen and be interested. I miss talking to her and laughing with her.

Well now I have this relationship again with my daughter. I feel she is truly interested in my life and what is happeninig. She is fun to talk to and fun to listen to. We are more relaxed talking to each other. My child has become a friend, oh, I am still the Mom, but now I truly say we are friends.

Mackenzie gave me a Mother's Day card, that she told me said everything, just the way she feels and when she gave it to me and I read it, we both cried. Here are the words, and yes it is a Hallmark:

"Mother, you are such a constant in my life in so many ways,
and I want you to know how grateful I am to have you in my corner.
It's so reassuring to know that I can always count on you to listen,
to comfort, to advise... and that I can always depend on your to be honest with me.
When things get stressful, it means so much to be able to come home to you
even if it's only in thought.
So today, on Mother's Day, I want to wish you a very special day filled with happiness. And I want to remind you how truly lucky I feel to have your support , your caring, and your love."

That said it all. What a heartfelt card.

The last two days, I have spent at orientation at KU with Tyler. What a fun experience. Tyler, is unbelievable. He is 20 years old and reads more diverse books and magazines and newspapers than anyone I know. He knows so much about everything. He, in my eyes, is brillant. He is reading and collecting knowledge to formulate his views and beliefs for his foundation as a man. He could talk about almost anything with anyone. He is interested in life and people. He wants to help people and make this place a better place to live. He wants to know as much as he can so that he can use that knowledge to help in causes, and to help people. He is fun to talk to, even though, most of the time he talks way above my head. I don't know much about politics, but I love to hear him talk about it.

Tyler is fun to be with and he likes to be with me. He is not embarrassed to be with me and enjoys having fun. He doesn't seem to care what other people think. He holds his head (very hairy head) high and does what he wants to do, not letting peoples opinions sway him. He is an individual a unique fun individual. Oh it will be exciting to watch him grow at college, to see him get involved and to see what he really majors in and what job or career he chooses. I can tell for the next 4 or 5 years we will be in for a ride, a fun and exciting ride.

Well, I have put my thoughts down, and I hope the theme is evident. I have 3 very different children, who are unique and wonderful in their own ways. I have a different kind of relationship with each one which is great. They are great people. I thank God for allowing me to know them and help shape them, but the glory all goes to God for helping them become the people they are. They have worked hard to achieve their accomplishments and I am proud of who they are and who they will be.

Becky